Mother’s advice — The Power Of Association

David Nair
5 min readMar 21, 2024

How many of us recall when we were kids, our mums would encourage us to connect, go play with certain kids, and frown on us playing with other kids. Mum was our filter, our selection screen as to who to hang out with. Back then, we never understood Why? Many years down the road we understand what our mum was doing and the impact it could and did have on our future. This topic is very close to us at IXL Incorporated, what we talk about in a segment called Obsessed learning — “follow your mother advise” — Your Associative power (Recall it).

As a child, I often questioned why my mom was so particular about the friends I spent time with. I remember one instance when she encouraged me to play with a group of kids who were always focused on their studies and had big dreams for the future. At the time, I couldn’t understand why she was so insistent. However, as I grew older, I realized that the positive influence of those friends played a significant role in shaping my mindset and aspirations.

On the flip side, I also recall a time when my mom expressed concerns about a friend whose negative attitude seemed to overshadow everything else. Despite my initial resistance, I eventually realized the detrimental impact this friendship was having on my own outlook on life. With my mom’s guidance, I made the tough decision to distance myself from that toxic relationship, ultimately reclaiming control over my happiness and well-being.

Jim Rohn, mentor to many of the top motivational speakers and Self-Help authors including Tony Robbins speaks about association power and classifies it into three major categories.

Many would have heard, Jim Rohn says, you become an average of the five people you associate with most. The people we spend our time with determine what conversations dominate our attention, and what observations, attitudes, and opinions we repetitively are introduced to. It’s frightening to note, the less than inspired seems to be able to attract more, than the high achievers.

Jim Rohn’s teachings on the power of association resonated deeply with me. I’ve seen firsthand how the people we surround ourselves with can influence our thoughts, attitudes, and actions. Inspired by his insights, I’ve learned to evaluate my associations and make intentional choices about who I spend my time with.

How often have we observed people at work, people at home, part/flexi-time employee’s — like-minded gets drawn to likeminded. What they do with their time, in most cases, the less empowered seems to be the draw cart to the others, as it easier and more comfortable to move downwards than to stretch unless the empowered is strong-willed and powered with strong unfaltering self-discipline to stay empowered rather than be draw down.

One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned is the importance of surrounding myself with positive, motivated individuals. By seeking out associations that uplift and inspire me, I’ve been able to create an environment conducive to personal growth and success. Whether it’s joining professional organizations, attending networking events, or simply spending time with like-minded individuals, I’ve found that investing in positive connections is key to achieving my goals.

Spend your time with a team of high-achievers and you’ll be inspired to stretch for your next accomplishment, be it in your business, finances, or personal agenda. On the converse, hang out with people who are “less than inspired” and you could quickly find yourself stagnant.

Evaluate and shift your associations into 3 categories, and you decide what you would like to do with those disempowering associates.

1. Disassociation

There are some people you might need to break away from completely — these are negative, toxic people who infect you with their bad attitude, and their idle gossips. People with no purpose — just exist. It’s difficult to ignore someone and their negative influences but doing so will put YOU in control of deciding the quality of life you want to have. Then surround yourself with the people who represent and support that vision.

2. Limited Associations

There are some people who you can spend three hours with, but not three days. Others you can spend three minutes with, but not three hours. Decide how much you can “afford” to be influenced, based on how those people represent themselves.

3. Expanded Associations

Whatever area of your life you want to see improvement in, find someone who represents the success you want, the skills you want, and the lifestyle you want, and spend more time with those people. Join organizations, clubs, businesses, and health clubs where these people are and make friends. “Always remember you are the sum total of your associative power.”

Decide who of your friends are the best influences and make more time for them; it’s an investment of time that will prove profitable.

As I sit here reflecting on the tapestry of my life, I realize it’s not just a fabric of happenstance but a deliberate quilt of associations. Each square represents a person who has influenced me, from my mother’s wisdom to the friends who have inspired my ambitions. To anyone reading this, I encourage you to look at your own quilt. Who has added color to your life? Whose patterns have shaped your journey? Choose those who help you create a masterpiece, and together, stitch a beautiful future.

Have a wonderful Life………

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David Nair

Mentor| Author of the book “IeXceL”| Life Coach| Corporate Strategist| Speaker| Peak Performance Strategist | Youtuber | Podcaster | Blogger